A Reflection on Parenting

Almost every parent has hopes and dreams for their children. Most hope for their child to be successful and to 'have more than they did growing up'... whatever that means (because we're all so poor and oppressed here in North America). I've heard more than once that 'maybe Stella will be rich and she'll buy you a nice house to retire in'.

I certainly hope not.

No, the dreams that I have for my child are much different than those of most parents. I have no desire to see my daughter become 'rich'... rich people are unhappy. How do you think they GET rich to begin with? Through placing money and the pursuit thereof as foremost on their 'to do' lists. No, I wouldn't wish that on my child for anything. When I think of her future, the only dreams I see are that she grow up knowing that she's loved. And I mean really, unconditionally loved.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day (ok, go ahead and laugh, but he's the only one in America with any sense!) and he had on a family where the daughter had gotten pregnant at 16. The father refused to speak to her, because she had 'shattered all his expectations of her'. I was overwhelmed by the need to go pick up my daughter, hug her, and tell her that no matter WHAT, I would NEVER just abandon her like that. Who am I to 'expect' things from her? Now, I'm not saying that I HOPE my daughter becomes a teenage mother - far from it! But if that's something that she's dealt in her life, I'll be right there with the huggies and the baby wipes, every step of the way.

I had a pretty ok childhood, all things considered. And I think my parents did a lot of things right. First and foremost, they let me be myself, without trying to fit me into a mould of 'the perfect child'. No, I'm not a doctor (not yet) or a lawyer, I don't have a lot of money, and I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. But you know, I have a really strong sense of myself and, more importantly, I'm HAPPY. I wouldn't trade the life I have for anything in the world. Well, maybe I'd get rid of my student debt (damn OSAP, the monthly payments are the same as a mortgage payment!), but everything else is exactly what I imagine happiness to be. It's taken me a while (probably because I never had anyone tell me 'this is what you should do'), but I'm finally starting to figure things out. And because I've done it on my own, I know for certain that the choices I've made were the right ones. And THAT is all I want for my daughter.