I just needed to send out some excitement. Tonight, for the first time in what seems like decades, I'm going out to see some fantastic live music and spend an evening with friends. It's one of those 'now or never' things, because once the little babe is born, I suspect my ability to go anywhere will be severely compromised (especially anywhere with loud music which could damage little baby ears - although she WILL need a good excuse to wear her Bob Marley sleeper somewhere). I'm bringing the camera along for the ride, and I'll post pictures of the evening later on. Wow, it seems like forever since I've truly documented something like this on a blog. Oh how I missed it.
**EDIT** Due to the apparent end of the world and the three feet of snow dumped on our little city in a matter of hours, last night was a bust. We're hoping for better luck tonight, as the same band is playing at a different venue. If all goes according to plan, I will have pictures for you tomorrow. :)
Friday, November 30, 2007
Meditation on the creation of life
First, before I start my post, I just want to say, please bear with me during the next few months with this new blogging project. I have a strong desire to see it become what my old blog was (well, a better, newer and greater manifestation of my old blog anyway), but I'm also working on a new computer with none of my photos or art on it, and whereas my old blog had many a photo-post, it's going to take me some time to build up a collection worthy of such things. So, for the time being, I'm afraid my posts here might be somewhat lack-luster.
But take heart, I promise it will get better, and my links section will fill out eventually, when I find everyone again, and I'll get back all my other beautiful add ons... slowly but surely I will become whole again!
Anyway, now to the main topic of this post. That being the upcoming birth of my first child. She's due in a few short weeks, and it's fairly consuming my every waking moment. We've decided to do a homebirth (provided the little monkey stays put in there long enough to make it to the 37 week cutoff). My husband and I have strong feelings about the process of birth, and in our opinion, no good can come of a child's first contact with the world being a loud, artificially bright, cold and sterile hospital room filled to overflowing with abrupt and uncaring medical 'professionals'. The standard practise of grabbing a newborn by it's legs and 'roughing it up' immediately after birth in order to make it cry and breath on it's own is just plain cruel. The poor babe went from a warm, calm, safe womb, squeezed through a very physically confining entry way into the world, and is greeted by manhandling and rough treatment.
What we want for our daughter is a calm and peaceful entrance into this world. One where she's not forced to begin breathing on her own, and the cord won't be severed until she's had time to make the other necessary adjustments and WANTS to begin breathing. The lights will be dimmed so as not to shock her poor confused system. Only myself, my husband and our midwife will be in the room, and all communication will be kept to the minimum necessary. I'm perfecting a birthing method based on mindful meditation, and if it works well for me I'll be writing a full article on the process in the hopes that other women might use it and find it helpful.
I've done a lot of preparation for this birth, and more than anything else I've meditated on what it means to give life to another being. I've been doing a daily meditation on the process that in 9 short months resulted in my daughter. I talk with her daily, both out loud and through meditation, and I'm not sure what the connection is (if any), but my mother in law and sister in law have both said that they can feel her presence as strongly as if she were already here. I'm not sure, but I have a suspicion that it has to do with the daily meditation that we share, that her spirit is already lively and aware of the world around her, in just the same way as any other living being. I encourage any other expectant woman to try this exercise with their babes, and see if you get a similar result. It's a simple matter of visualising your little one, and sharing a conversation, the same as you would were she right in front of you. My daughter doesn't answer back, of course, but I feel like her awareness is made stronger just by my acknowledgement of it. Having others confirm this (all on their own, too, mind you - I didn't bring it up, and they had no idea of my meditations), simply reaffirms my conviction that there is much that we do not understand about the nature of consciousness and the human spirit.
But take heart, I promise it will get better, and my links section will fill out eventually, when I find everyone again, and I'll get back all my other beautiful add ons... slowly but surely I will become whole again!
Anyway, now to the main topic of this post. That being the upcoming birth of my first child. She's due in a few short weeks, and it's fairly consuming my every waking moment. We've decided to do a homebirth (provided the little monkey stays put in there long enough to make it to the 37 week cutoff). My husband and I have strong feelings about the process of birth, and in our opinion, no good can come of a child's first contact with the world being a loud, artificially bright, cold and sterile hospital room filled to overflowing with abrupt and uncaring medical 'professionals'. The standard practise of grabbing a newborn by it's legs and 'roughing it up' immediately after birth in order to make it cry and breath on it's own is just plain cruel. The poor babe went from a warm, calm, safe womb, squeezed through a very physically confining entry way into the world, and is greeted by manhandling and rough treatment.
What we want for our daughter is a calm and peaceful entrance into this world. One where she's not forced to begin breathing on her own, and the cord won't be severed until she's had time to make the other necessary adjustments and WANTS to begin breathing. The lights will be dimmed so as not to shock her poor confused system. Only myself, my husband and our midwife will be in the room, and all communication will be kept to the minimum necessary. I'm perfecting a birthing method based on mindful meditation, and if it works well for me I'll be writing a full article on the process in the hopes that other women might use it and find it helpful.
I've done a lot of preparation for this birth, and more than anything else I've meditated on what it means to give life to another being. I've been doing a daily meditation on the process that in 9 short months resulted in my daughter. I talk with her daily, both out loud and through meditation, and I'm not sure what the connection is (if any), but my mother in law and sister in law have both said that they can feel her presence as strongly as if she were already here. I'm not sure, but I have a suspicion that it has to do with the daily meditation that we share, that her spirit is already lively and aware of the world around her, in just the same way as any other living being. I encourage any other expectant woman to try this exercise with their babes, and see if you get a similar result. It's a simple matter of visualising your little one, and sharing a conversation, the same as you would were she right in front of you. My daughter doesn't answer back, of course, but I feel like her awareness is made stronger just by my acknowledgement of it. Having others confirm this (all on their own, too, mind you - I didn't bring it up, and they had no idea of my meditations), simply reaffirms my conviction that there is much that we do not understand about the nature of consciousness and the human spirit.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Ahhh.... creating.
I'm working on a new art exhibit. I havn't created a full themed collection of pieces in several years, and I'm really excited to see what I can come up with. We've got a new art gallery in town that seems to be pretty good about accepting new installations from unknown artists, so I'm hoping that once I have some stuff together they'll accept my work.
I started to conceptualize everything a few months ago, but with the upheavel that happened right around that time I just didn't have time to really do much about it. I started today with making beads for a mobile/3D sculpture that will serve as a piece in the exhibit, as well as a mobile for my daughter once I'm done with it.
I have to figure out some of the nuts and bolts, and exactly what I'm trying to accomplish out of the pieces, so that ultimately I can articulate it in a way that will tie them all together for people viewing the work. That's always the hardest part for me, since my brain doesn't work in a linear fashion at all. I tend to get an idea and go off with it, get halfway through and then get distracted by something else. To ME there's a cohesiveness to the projects, but I'm sure to others there's no obvious connection from one piece to another. I'm really going to have to work to accomplish what I want to see out of this.
Ahh, to have something to dig into again. :) My heart is happy.
I started to conceptualize everything a few months ago, but with the upheavel that happened right around that time I just didn't have time to really do much about it. I started today with making beads for a mobile/3D sculpture that will serve as a piece in the exhibit, as well as a mobile for my daughter once I'm done with it.
I have to figure out some of the nuts and bolts, and exactly what I'm trying to accomplish out of the pieces, so that ultimately I can articulate it in a way that will tie them all together for people viewing the work. That's always the hardest part for me, since my brain doesn't work in a linear fashion at all. I tend to get an idea and go off with it, get halfway through and then get distracted by something else. To ME there's a cohesiveness to the projects, but I'm sure to others there's no obvious connection from one piece to another. I'm really going to have to work to accomplish what I want to see out of this.
Ahh, to have something to dig into again. :) My heart is happy.
Welcome
Welcome to my new internet home. This is not my first foray into blogging. It is however, a rebirth of sorts. I will give you a background on myself, and how it is that I've come to this particular place, at this particular moment in time.
One year ago I was about as far from this spot as I could have been. I was single, living a life that was anything but mindful and reflective. My nights were spent dancing and drinking, my days spent in the endless pursuit of an unfulfilling career. Then, last Christmas I received a book as a gift - The Freedom of Forgiveness by the Dalai Lama. I read it in 3 days and realized that I had dramatically drifted off course. I resolved to make 2007 a year of change - a year of realignment, so to speak.
I didn't know what to expect, but I knew big things were coming.
January 2007 I met the man who would 6 months later become my husband. From our first date it was obvious that we were connected in a way that I had never experienced. Our mutual friend prophesied the day after our first date that we would get married. In late February, we decided she was right, and set a date for May 25 (a date of significance for many reasons). In April we discovered that we were expecting our first child, a daughter. I don't want to under-emphasize what this moment meant for me. It was pivotal. At the moment that I found out I was going to be a mother, a radical shift happened in my soul. Another realignment similar to what I experienced in December.
My husband and I were indeed married in May, and our honeymoon took us on another journey (a physical one this time), in which we discovered many places we had never been. Neither of us had traveled very far from home, and our experience of different places and people was another defining moment. This trip also served as a further sign that I had indeed married the right man, for I was terribly sick most of the time, and my husband took care of me like no one else ever has, without a word of complaint, and indeed with such pride and sense of duty that I loved him even more than I had before.
Fast forward to October. I had another defining moment when an incident at work forced me to look at where my priorities lay. I realized that I was spending my days in pursuit of things that were so far from what I wanted in life that I experienced a breakdown of confidence in what I had already achieved. I decided that the only way to get myself back on track was to completely leave behind the idea of a 'career' in the traditional sense. I had always assumed that I would find meaning in my life from what I did for a living. In October I realized that this idea is radically flawed. Thus, I decided that I would stay home and focus on raising my child, writing, and creating things that would better help me to lead a mindful existence. It might sound to others like a simple act of resigning from a job that wasn't enjoyable anyway, but to me it was a radical shift in the understanding of who I was.
I sit here now, on the eve of another new year's beginning, mindful of all the many things I've accomplished in the last 365 days. I have started this blog as an offering to that new beginning, in a sense. I am a new person, and the journey ahead is sure to be as surprising as the one that lay behind me. As I prepare for the birth of my daughter, and the inevitable shift that this will bring about, I have begun this online journal as a way of chronicling the changes, and sharing my journey and my joy with others.
No matter what your religious or spiritual views, I hope this is a place where you will find ideas and insight that may help you in your everyday lives. I hope that like minded others, those who want to share wisdom and insight and questions and roadblocks will gather here. I have so much to say, and so many questions yet to be answered.
Welcome.
One year ago I was about as far from this spot as I could have been. I was single, living a life that was anything but mindful and reflective. My nights were spent dancing and drinking, my days spent in the endless pursuit of an unfulfilling career. Then, last Christmas I received a book as a gift - The Freedom of Forgiveness by the Dalai Lama. I read it in 3 days and realized that I had dramatically drifted off course. I resolved to make 2007 a year of change - a year of realignment, so to speak.
I didn't know what to expect, but I knew big things were coming.
January 2007 I met the man who would 6 months later become my husband. From our first date it was obvious that we were connected in a way that I had never experienced. Our mutual friend prophesied the day after our first date that we would get married. In late February, we decided she was right, and set a date for May 25 (a date of significance for many reasons). In April we discovered that we were expecting our first child, a daughter. I don't want to under-emphasize what this moment meant for me. It was pivotal. At the moment that I found out I was going to be a mother, a radical shift happened in my soul. Another realignment similar to what I experienced in December.
My husband and I were indeed married in May, and our honeymoon took us on another journey (a physical one this time), in which we discovered many places we had never been. Neither of us had traveled very far from home, and our experience of different places and people was another defining moment. This trip also served as a further sign that I had indeed married the right man, for I was terribly sick most of the time, and my husband took care of me like no one else ever has, without a word of complaint, and indeed with such pride and sense of duty that I loved him even more than I had before.
Fast forward to October. I had another defining moment when an incident at work forced me to look at where my priorities lay. I realized that I was spending my days in pursuit of things that were so far from what I wanted in life that I experienced a breakdown of confidence in what I had already achieved. I decided that the only way to get myself back on track was to completely leave behind the idea of a 'career' in the traditional sense. I had always assumed that I would find meaning in my life from what I did for a living. In October I realized that this idea is radically flawed. Thus, I decided that I would stay home and focus on raising my child, writing, and creating things that would better help me to lead a mindful existence. It might sound to others like a simple act of resigning from a job that wasn't enjoyable anyway, but to me it was a radical shift in the understanding of who I was.
I sit here now, on the eve of another new year's beginning, mindful of all the many things I've accomplished in the last 365 days. I have started this blog as an offering to that new beginning, in a sense. I am a new person, and the journey ahead is sure to be as surprising as the one that lay behind me. As I prepare for the birth of my daughter, and the inevitable shift that this will bring about, I have begun this online journal as a way of chronicling the changes, and sharing my journey and my joy with others.
No matter what your religious or spiritual views, I hope this is a place where you will find ideas and insight that may help you in your everyday lives. I hope that like minded others, those who want to share wisdom and insight and questions and roadblocks will gather here. I have so much to say, and so many questions yet to be answered.
Welcome.
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